Let me just say this, preparing to serve has been the hardest, loneliest, self-doubting times I have EVER had. Oh boy was it worth it.
A lot of people were surprised by my sudden peaked interest in serving a mission for my church, and I can't blame them, so was I.
Weeks before I had honestly given a second thought to serving there was a talk I heard, and to sum it up, it made me question what I was really doing and what I valued. After much self evaluation I decided I was far from the person I knew I could be or even wanted to be. There was one small problem, I didn't actually know who I really was. Secretly all along, deep down, I was always uncomfortable in my own skin and reaching desperately for something more within myself. After trying to continue along in my day to day routine the feeling in the pit of my stomach grew stronger and stronger, and I felt as though I was always carrying a large burden with me.
Then something crazy happened. I prayed one night to know what I should do, something I had never done. The next morning I knew who I could become and what I should be doing; serving the Lord and growing in the gospel.
It hasn't been all blue skies since that point, it's been rough. Self-doubt came back with a hammer and what-ifs flooded my mind constantly. However the change that I see in myself is so much closer to the person I hope to be one day. I am preparing to serve people in a country I have never been to or know anything about, but I love them wholeheartedly, something that has never come easily to me. I am beyond excited to bring to them what has brought me more peace or joy than I could have ever imagined.
Adventure begins in 9 days.
Sister Hansen
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